Burning Bridges, Breaking Chains: Why I Stopped Being Loyal to Employers
Anomie, Exploitation, and the Radical Act of Walking Away
For nearly two years I used to wake up dreading the day.
Not just once in a while—every single morning.
That sinking feeling in my chest, the quiet thought: Is this all there is?
The exhaustion that never left, the stress that manifested in my skin, gut, and sleep.
And I wasn’t alone.
I’d doom-scroll through Instagram and see it everywhere—people crying in their cars, venting in their office bathrooms, talking about their burnout like it was just… normal.
Like collective suffering was a natural part of being human now.
No. Resist.
This is not normal.
This is not just how life is.
This is capitalism doing exactly what it was designed to do—condition us to accept our own exploitation.
And for a long time, I did.
The Workhorse Loyalty Was Modeled for Me
I come from a lineage of workers. My grandfather. My mother.
My grandfather, a Mexican immigrant, worked hard to come to the U.S. for the American Dream. I remember him telling me stories of working the fields for mere quarters/hour.
He was part of the Bracero Program—a U.S. labor initiative that brought Mexican men to work in agriculture and railroads from the 1940s to the 1960s. It was framed as an opportunity, a win-win for both countries, but the reality was that it exploited thousands of migrant workers. They were underpaid, overworked, and often treated as disposable labor.
Sound familiar?
And yet, through that exploitation, through sheer willpower, my grandfather managed to bring his family over.
The American Dream: A Capitalist Carrot
It’s interesting to be in my thirties, looking at all of this through a critical, intersectional lens.
The American Dream—the one that was sold to immigrants like my grandfather—is nothing more than a capitalist carrot.
Maybe back then, when industrialism was still new and the economy was different, opportunity was more tangible. But the more I re-think, the more I realize that the system was never built for us.
And that’s the thing about history—it fascinates me. But not the Eurocentric history we learned in school. I want to know the real stories. The ones about who built this country, who sacrificed, and who was left behind.
My Mother: A Life of Sacrifice and Survival
Because of my grandfather’s relentless work, my mother came to the U.S. But opportunity didn’t come easy.
She never finished middle school.
In a family of seven, as the second eldest, she was put to work at 14 years old to help provide.
And back then?
She was still being conditioned to meet a man, become a wife, take care of the home.
So alongside her work as a seamstress and a cleaner, she met my biological father at 18. Married at 19. Gave birth to my older sister soon after.
And then, at 32, her world shattered.
My dad left.
He left my mom and his kids. I was three years old.
He went back to Mexico to start a “new life”—without us.
My mom was left with nothing.
Work as Survival and Identity
From that moment on, my mom had no choice but to start over.
She worked multiple jobs just to survive.
She was always saving, sacrificing, stretching every dollar.
She never took a vacation.
She worked while sick, because rest wasn’t an option.
Now, she’s nearly 65 years old, and her body is giving up on her.
But she doesn’t want to retire.
She doesn’t know how to rest.
Because work became her identity.
Because the system doesn’t allow people like her to rest.
What Was Modeled for Me
This was my blueprint.
This was the expectation.
If I didn’t want to end up in my mother’s position—dependent, financially vulnerable—then I needed to work hard, be independent, stay employed, be loyal to my job.
I had more opportunities than my mother did.
But the conditioning?
The pressure to prove my worth through work?
That stayed the same.
And this is what I’m unlearning.
This is what I refuse to pass down.
Resist.
They Demand Loyalty But Offer None in Return
Funny, isn’t it?
The way they expect commitment but refuse to commit to us.
They demand: Be a team player. Go above and beyond. Be grateful you even have a job.
They tell us we’re lucky to be here—but when have they ever been loyal to us?
Companies will discard you in an instant the second it benefits them.
They will squeeze you for everything you have while gaslighting you into thinking you’re the problem for not handling it better.
And let’s be clear—it’s not just "bad" companies.
Even so-called mission-driven, “we’re a family” workplaces perpetuate harm.
💰 They overwork people in the name of passion.
💰 They underpay people and call it purpose.
💰 They guilt you for wanting basic things like rest, balance, or fair pay.
Meanwhile, leadership thrives. Profits soar.
In non-profit mission-driven environments, it's a revolving door.
And the people?
The people are miserable.
This isn’t an accident.
This is by design.
How It Starts to Break You
For me, it looked like resenting every second of my day.
⏳ Staring at the clock, counting down the hours.
📧 Answering emails at night because it was “just part of the job.”
😞 Feeling the loneliness of a workplace where I had no real connection.
And then came the stress sickness.
My body literally revolted.
🚨 My eczema flared up, constantly.
🚨 My immune system crashed.
🚨 My nervous system was in a constant state of panic.
And still, I pushed through.
Because this is what we do, right?
We suck it up.
We work harder.
We prove ourselves.
Until we break.
For years, this is what my life felt like, ball and chained:
Resist.
My Breaking Point Led to My Liberation
The thing that finally set me free?
🔥 I stood up for myself.
🔥 I resigned.
🔥 And I burned that bridge with no regrets.
I had spent years being the good employee.
The loyal one. The overachiever.
The one who cared deeply, worked hard, and gave everything.
And yet, in the end? None of it mattered.
Because toxic leaders and organizations don’t reward loyalty—they exploit it.
The Gaslighting Followed By A Breakdown
I stood up to a toxic boss who weaponized power.
The kind of leader who made people shrink.
The kind who kept good employees small to protect their own fragile ego.
The kind who gaslit, manipulated, and harassed while pretending to be a “leader.”
The gaslighting was constant.
The stress and anxiety?
Unbearable.
I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t function.
I started breaking down, crying at my desk.
And finally, I hit my limit.
I took a leave.
For the first time in my life, I stepped away instead of pushing through.
And in that time?
I did the deep work.
I worked with my therapist.
I did intensive EMDR therapy.
I processed everything I had been putting off for years.
And that’s when I saw it clearly—I had been a slave to my job.
I had been sacrificing my well-being, my mental health, my entire identity for employers that would never match my loyalty.
And I couldn’t bear it any longer.
The Generational Cycle of Exploitation Ends With Me
I think about all the bad things they did to my grandfather.
I think about the mistreatment my mother endured.
How she worked herself to the bone.
How she was disrespected by managers, undervalued, and treated as disposable.
And what were they both told?
💀 Suck it up.
💀 Work harder.
💀 Be grateful you even have a job.
Their employers were always prioritized over their humanity.
And at 33 years old, I decided—
FUCK THAT.
I burned the bridge.
I walked away.
And I never looked back.
Burning the Bridge Was My Liberation
They tell us not to burn bridges.
They tell us to stay professional.
To be loyal, compliant, malleable.
Because that benefits them.
But when you’ve done it all, given it all, sacrificed it all—
And they still throw you away?
Still gaslight you?
Still try to strip you of your worth and dignity?
At some point, you have to see reality for what it is.
You burn the fucking bridge.
And you never look back.
If This Resonates With You…
If you’ve ever been manipulated by a toxic boss—
If you’ve ever been told to “be professional” while being disrespected—
If you’ve ever stayed in a job that was killing you because you thought you had no choice—
I see you. I’ve been you.
And I want you to ask yourself:
What would happen if you stopped being loyal to people who don’t deserve it?
What would your life look like if you walked away from what’s keeping you stuck?
Let’s resist.
What Actually Helped Me Rebuild My Life
Leaving was just the first step.
Healing took work—real, intentional work.
And it wasn’t easy. It took months of trial and error.
✨ A Latina therapist. I had seen therapists before, but this was different.
I needed someone who understood Latinidad, first-gen struggles, internalized guilt, the pressure to be "strong."
✨ Medication. My anxiety was unhinged. Finding the right meds took months. Trial, side effects, dosage adjustments. But once I found what worked? Game-changer.
Because let’s be real—our culture stigmatizes mental health.
I was raised to believe that therapy was for "broken" people.
And after years of struggle, I thought maybe I was broken.
Maybe I was crazy.
But I wasn’t.
I was traumatized.
And trauma doesn’t leave just because you ignore it.
✨ Understanding my hormonal cycle.
At 33, my body felt different. I was experiencing PMDD symptoms [PMDD is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) that causes significant emotional and physical distress in the days or weeks leading up to a woman's period].
My energy, my mood, my ability to focus—it had all shifted.
I started tracking my cycle differently, dove into deep knowledge of reproductive health, hormonal phases, and planning my life around it.
Instead of forcing productivity when my body needed rest, I worked with myself.
Instead of pushing through exhaustion, I honored my rhythms.
✨ Reclaiming my joy.
I started playing the piano again. I went on long walks with my dog again.
I built a routine that felt like mine.
I cared for myself without guilt.
✨ Supportive friendships.
✨ Being okay with starting over.
And let me tell you—that required deep reprogramming.
Unlearning.
Relearning.
Letting go.
We Have Power. We Have Choice.
We’ve been taught that we’re powerless.
That this is just the way things are.
That we should be grateful for merely having a job when we are overworked, underpaid, and disrespected.
But that’s a lie.
They keep liberation from us on purpose.
They want us tired, obedient, and too exhausted to fight back.
They want us loyal sheep.
But we are not sheep.
We are not machines.
We are not just labor.
We are humans—and it’s time we reclaim our power.
Burn the bridge. Reclaim your power and move with the seasons this Spring Equinox. Enrollment for the Arrive: Sowing Seeds program opens March 10th. Join this transformative 8-week journey: https://www.thrivinghuman.life/arrive-spring-equinox-2025